Keeping Your Gravestone Free from Stains

A gravestone that has been very well cared for.

Image courtesy of Flickr user Wystan.

Over time, a grave can become discoloured and lose its original appearance through a variety of factors. When this does happen, and the discolouration has actually stained into the stone, then your best bet is to have any affected headstones attended to by a memorial care company, who can remove a tiny layer of stone from the surface, allowing clean stone underneath to be displayed instead.

However, you want to put this off for as long as possible by keeping your gravestones in good condition, and to do that, you need to take the time to ensure that the risk of discolouration of the stone is kept to a minimum.

The best way to go about this is rather simple: make sure you remove any debris that lands on the stone as soon as possible. This can be leaves, twigs, bird droppings, or anything else that could potentially fall onto the gravestone and stay there. This includes things that are leaning against the gravestone, so no piles of dead leaves or long grass should be allowed either.

You’ll also want to clean the stone of moss or other growths, as over time these can do just as good a job of staining the stone as dead leaves. This is also a fairly easy task.

What may be more time intensive is giving the stone a full wash, but this can get some of the best results out of the stone. It is a job that requires care and patience, as you may have to do multiple passes on one area, and can only use safe, weak cleaning products, and no strong brushes, as these can damage the stone.

Tips for Keeping your Gravestone Clean

Looking after a gravestone doesn’t have to be a difficult task. With some simple tips and advice, you can ensure that any headstones, be they marble headstones or granite headstones look great for that much longer.

With the help of this video, we hope that you can look after memorials for loved ones with a much greater degree of success, keeping them free from weathering effects, moss and mould whilst not damaging the original stonework.

Of course, you can’t fight against the weathering effects of the elements forever, and even though these tips will certainly help you maintain your gravestone far longer, they do not provide indefinite protection. Luckily, there are professional companies that can provide memorial care to a much higher standard when it becomes necessary. Not only will they clean the stone, but can also restore lettering or other details and reattach leaded pieces.

Watch the video and learn how you can care for your memorial.

What Will You Have Added to Your Memorial?

Granite Memorials with an adornment at the Australian War Memorial in Hyde Park, London.There are loads of different options when it comes to adorning your headstone or gravestone with some things to really personalise it. You might expect that carving ornamentation onto a memorial is more common, but in plenty of cases, such as with a granite memorial for instance, you may well find that adornment rather than carving gives you a much greater range of options.

The problems with carving mainly sprout from the fact that granite and other hard stones can be very difficult and time consuming to carve. This can place very real limitations on the amount of work that can be done to a headstone within a certain budget. Even if money were no option, it’s simply much more difficult, close to impossible in some cases, to get the same level of detail on carvings in granite than it is in a softer stone, such as marble.

However, the adornments that you can get more than make up for the loss of carving options that granite offers, and these adornments take much more readily to granite than to softer stones as it will hold them much more easily; they are much less likely to loosen in granite headstones than they are in marble headstones.

And the range of adornments is huge! Even the colours vary massively. You can have something as simple as lettering, right up to images of doves, angels or something that the departed enjoyed immensely in life. You can even have full images cast and attached.

Granite – The Noble Stone

I feel that the first thing which should be addressed in this blog post is that I am not referring to granite as noble in the scientific sense. Granite is, of course, durable, but it does not approach a level of low-reactivity that would qualify it for the term. As a metaphor for its longevity, however, it is useful. The main definition of granite as noble here is to describe the dignity and solemnity that a granite memorial or granite headstones bring to a cemetery.Granite memorials and headstones keep their sombre tone for ages.

Although granite is now available in a variety of colours, colours which can be emphasised through careful smoothing and polishing, they still tend to have a darker tone than other stone used for memorials. The typically dark colours of granite are still prevalent in cemeteries through theUKas well, lending them the more respectful, dignified looks that colourful patchworks of gravestones lack.

The ability of granite to stay true to its original carving so much longer than, say, marble also contributes to its appeal. Where as softer stones will wear away over time, losing their detail and colour, granite will remain in its intended form much longer. It will begin to degrade eventually, of course, but not before it has seen out other gravestones created at the same time. This means that the solemn, unflinching dignity of a granite memorial goes on and on and on.

You should also recognise that even when wear and tear does take place, granite memorials remain excellent gravestones. Though the details of carvings and even names may disappear from their surface, they are indisputably recognised as the marker of a grave.

Picture courtesy of Flickr user he-ryan.

Choosing an Inscription for your Headstone

Making a decision on what to display on your marble gravestone can be a very difficult and lengthy process. You might go through loads of different ideas before finding one that you like, and could end up scrapping that a few days later. It’s important to think about it though, as if your nearest and dearest know what you would like on a headstone, it’s much easier for them to get on with the process and reduces the emotional stress and pain that they’ll be going through.

As for what to actually put on your gravestone, you have the entire wealth of all languages ever to choose from, which can be a little overwhelming. If you would like to go for a traditional choice, biblical quotes are always popular, as are fond remembrances of the family role you filled (“Beloved Husband, Cherished Father, Dutiful Son” for instance).

Or you could decide to go down a different route, perhaps with a humorous or witty epitaph to bring a smile to people who see your grave? There are plenty of funny little poems or messages on gravestones all over the world. One classic that has cropped up in a number of places is “I told you I was sick/ill”.

Another of my favourites is:

“Reader –if cash thou art in want of any,
Dig four feet deep and find a Penny.”
Epitaph of John Penny, Wimborne, England.

Of course, once you have decided on a gravestone epitaph, you’ll want to ensure that it’s maintained for future generations, so a proper system of memorial care is important.

Exhumations

Although exhumations are widely considered taboo or sacrilege in most countries and cultures that bury their dead there are certain situations that result in bodies being exhumed and UK Headstones being disturbed. If for example, there are suspicious circumstances surrounding the death of a person the police may try and get the body exhumed for further investigations and to try and determine the cause of death.

In some cultures, graves are opened after a certain period of death. Southern China exhumes a body after a period of so many years and the bones are removed, cleaned and dried. They are then placed in either a ceramic pot for reburial or in a smaller coffin which can then be taken home by the rest of the family.

Remains may be moved if the cemetery in question is being located somewhere else, this would only occur after local planning and religious requirements have been met. In some rare cases exhumation may occur to help with the study of dissection, gibbeting or posthumous execution like Oliver Cromwell.

Many notable individuals have been exhumed to help with study and for public display; the most prominent of these figures are mummies from Ancient Egypt. In Hong Kong where property is at a premium, government run cemeteries exhume burials after 6 years under an order. The remains are then either privately collected for cremation or reburied in an urn or a niche.

Jewish Law forbids the exhumation of a corpse and other cultures continue to have differences and conflict regarding exhumation rules.

Boy sells his toys to pay for his Dad’s Headstone

It’s a sobering tale that left many with a tear in their eye. A young nine year old boy in America had been saving his pennies for an iPod or iTouch until the day his Dad tragically died and the family couldn’t afford any Headstones.

The boy’s father who was a keen outdoorsman and loved nothing better than camping and hunting with his son died of an abdominal aneurysm, leaving his young family devastated. Like many young families, making ends meet is a challenge each and every week so having the luxury of disposable income is a far cry from reality.

The young boy, Blake, used some of his favourite toys to mark where his father had been buried and whilst he was busy saving any penny he had to buy an iPod or iTouch, he decided that he would hold a garage sale comprising of his old toys and any money made would go towards paying for his dad’s Gravestones.

Touched by his enormous selflessness, his mother agreed to try and match what he made to contribute to the headstone. Blake contacted his local radio station to generate some interest in the garage sale and as you can imagine, was inundated with people touched by the story. People flocked from far and wide to attend and left donations. The response became overwhelming and the young family managed to raise far more money than was needed for his father’s gravestone.

All the money left after the gravestone had been bought has gone into an account and is to help Blake with his education in the future.

Walking on Gravestones

An unusual situation has arrived for students, staff and visitors alike at Blackburn College. Whilst vital building works are being carried out for the construction of a new Beacon Centre at the college every single person who wants to enter and leave the college is forced to walk on Memorial Headstones.

Hundreds of people from the college are walking across half a dozen memorials, which date back to the 1700’s, everyday and as you would expect the feelings about this are mixed. Whilst some people cannot see what the problem may be, as long as people show the respect the memorials deserve, others can’t believe the college have not have offered or made another available pathway, albeit temporary, to the college.

Being diverted through the graveyard is one thing people say, but to then be expected to walk over UK Headstones is quite another. Some have even gone so far as to say it is like ‘desecrating the dead’. Others have said that they ‘find it so distressing to see the gravestones being used in this way.’

Traditional cemeteries see gravestones upright at the head of the grave and if this were the case with these then there would be no one walking on the gravestones. As it is, these gravestones already make up a path in the graveyard and spokes people for the church and college have stressed that this is a temporary measure and there are other routes that are alternative if people have a strong issue with this.

Stop The Vandals

It’s a very sad fact that vandals are a part of our everyday life. We see vandalism on streets, in parks, to buildings, on cars and often worse. It is something that we have become accustomed too. Broken windows, graffitied walls, smashed bollards and trampled flower beds are increasingly becoming the norm as we stroll through our towns.

Whilst vandalism is a lowly activity, often performed by people through boredom or peer pressure there are some vandals that seemingly have no bounds at all and one of the most devastating actions of vandalisms can be on Headstones.  Desecrating cemeteries is an utterly disturbing event for any family who has a loved one buried there. To find upon arrival, flowers strewn across the path, the Gravestones covered in graffiti or even kicked over brings enormous upset and stress to the family.

Whilst this behaviour is not new, it does seem to be on the increase nationwide, which is why many cemeteries are now turning to what they can only describe as a bid to stop anti-social problems. By installing CCTV cameras, councils are hoping that they will deter these vandals who are largely thought to be teenagers. If these cameras don’t act as a deterrent then hopefully they will identify the faces of the vandals in the act and the police can make investigations to find these people.

Installing CCTV cameras is an expense to councils and is a sad sign of our times but in any case, this aim is to decrease, if not abolish vandalism in cemeteries, and for that reason I think we should all be agreed it is a good move.

How to write a Eulogy


When a loved one dies there is a lot to deal with, not only emotionally but logistically too. From sourcing the right Gravestones to picking the right flowers, a lot needs to be organized in often a very short period of time. Along with the logistics, thought and time is needed to prepare the funeral ceremony and many people choose to do a eulogy, which needs to be a well constructed, thoughtful speech of the loved one, mainly consisting of his/her life history and details of their friends, family, work, interests etc.

The most touching eulogies are written from the heart and will paint a good picture of the deceased loved one, who they were, what they did and what they enjoyed about life. It is a good idea to talk to family members and close friends and gather information and stories that they have held dear over the years to include. The most important things to include in the eulogy is their age, family and other close relations, education, work, career, hobbies and special interests, places the person lived and special accomplishments.

When you have gathered all the information and know the stories you are going to talk about then its time to start writing. Make sure you write it as you will speak it, don’t get too bogged down with formalities, remember this is a celebration of someone’s life and needs to come from the heart. When you have written it, go over it, refine it, and edit it until you are happy. The next step is to rehearse it, only then will you know whether you are truly happy with the flow and structure of it. Finalise the copy and then keep rehearsing until you are comfortable with how you deliver it. You don’t need to learn it from memory but having a strong idea of the structure and order will help you when you get up and speak. Remember that nerves and emotion will play a large part so you need to be confident in knowing your eulogy. The eulogy can often help people when choosing the Epitaph on Memorial Headstones too.